Earlier this week the USFL announced that each team would have its own official mascot. The teams began posting pictures and videos revealing their new mascots, each claiming to be the best in the league. Shortly after the reveals, it was announced that all eight teams were going to allow fans on Twitter to vote for the mascot’s official name. Each team provided 3 preselected names and created a poll, here is what the people decided. 

Birmingham Stallions:

Mascot Grade: B

Name nominations: Magic, Stanley, Buck

Name vote winner: Stanley

Name Grade: C-

Stallions are very beautiful so it would have been very hard for them to mess this mascot up. It’s nothing to write home about but a solid-looking mascot. The people chose Stanley for the name, personally, I think Buck was the best choice but honestly, all 3 names were not that great. Bullseye would have been a great name but Pixar may have that one locked up.

Houston Gamblers:

Mascot Grade: B-

Name nominations: Ace, Jackpot, Chip, Tex

Name vote winner: Ace

Name Grade: A

Of the 4 names provided, Ace was a no-brainer. It sounds great and fits the team theme perfectly. I like the mascot as well but something about the face is off to me, from certain angles it is very creepy.

Michigan Panthers:

Mascot Grade: C+

Name nominations: Peter, Hunter, Pablo, Mitch

Name vote winner: Pablo

Name Grade: F

First, what are we even doing with the names here? Did we just pick 4 of the most basic names that came to mind? Second, Panthers are generally a dark brown or black color, Pablo is a light brown. Aside from being picky on the color scheme, the mascot is solid. He is friendly looking and panthers are just awesome in general. 

New Jersey Generals:

Mascot Grade: B+

Name nominations: General Gene, General Jersey, General George, General Joe

Name vote winner: General Jersey

Name Grade: A-

Sometimes I have a hard time expressing why I like a name/nickname and this is one of those times. General Jersey just sounds nice. It sounds like a cool nickname you’d give a buddy. The mascot is slick looking as well. A friendly yet somewhat serious-looking face and the boots pull the outfit together.

New Orleans Breakers:

Mascot Grade: A+

Name nominations: Breaker Bill, Breaker Brock, Splash, Dave the Wave

Name vote winner: Dave the Wave

Name Grade: C-

Dave the Wave is not a bad name. It fits and rolls off the tongue but I am lowering the grade for one main reason. I really think they missed an opportunity to name the mascot Brees. Brees fits the look of the mascot, makes sense when talking about the ocean, and would be a great tribute to New Orlean’s great Drew Brees. The mascot looks awesome though, despite the fact it looks like toothpaste. 

Philadelphia Stars:

Mascot Grade: D-

Name nominations: Astro, Cosmo, Blob

Name vote winner: Blob

Name Grade: A+

This mascot is awful, I have no idea what it is supposed to be. It looks like it should be a star on Yo Gabba Gabba. There is only one way to make this mascot work and that is to just go full meme with it. They have to make it funny, which is why the name Blob fits so perfectly. Cosmo or Astro would be too serious of names for this thing. Blob plays into it perfectly.

Pittsburgh Maulers:

Mascot Grade: A-

Name nominations: Mauler Mike, Hard Hat Henry, Marty the Mauler

Name vote winner: Marty the Mauler

Name Grade: A

This was by far the closest voting for mascot name so far. The last place name received 32.9% of the votes. Luckily, the people got this one right and Marty the Mauler squeezed out the win. The mascot fits the yinzers down there in Pittsburgh. The only thing it’s missing is a hammer at all times.

Tampa Bay Bandits:

Mascot Grade: B+

Name nominations: Bayside Bandit, Barry the Bandit, Billy the Bandit

Name vote winner: Bayside Bandit

Name Grade: A

The Bayside Bandit is a great name. I love a name that fits a city perfectly and also rolls off the tongue with ease. I am not a super fan of the Bandit’s bleach blonde hair but he looks very slick with the bandana over his face.